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Articles Below:

1 . What to Look for in a Tantra Teacher for Individual work
by Tantra Bensko

2 . Catholicism and Women by Shivoham

3 . Female Ejaculation by Shivoham

4: Extended sexual pleasure

5. Male largest sexual organ - tantric sexual mastery secrets by Shakti Hanna Maha Kali Ma

Tantric Secret 8 - Recipes from the Naked Tantric Chef

Tantric Secret 7 - Your largest Male Sexual Organ

Tantric Secret 6 - Your Love Muscles

Tantric Secret 5 - Male performance – erection

Tantric Secret 4 - De-mystifying female Ejaculation

Tantric Secret 3 - Demystifying the female G ‘spot’

Tantric Secret 2 - Gateway to Heaven – Male Prostate Massage & Male G Spot

Tantric Secret 1 - What will Tantric Sex Mastery will do for me

1. What to Look for in a Tantra Teacher for Individual work
by Tantra Bensko

If you are considering working individually with a Tantra Yoga teacher, I feel there are certain important aspects to look for. There are of course many schools of Tantra, and they vary widely, As regards sexuality, they vary widely also, some advocating celibacy except for householders, some advocating only ritual sex, generally with a spouse, and only on rare and prescribed occasions. Other forms of Tantra are a little more lax with sexual allowances, but traditionally, sex is only to be for the sake of enlightenment...

Tantra is a practice of using the body... The subtle anatomy is paid more attention in Tantra than any other form of practice other than Taoism, but the Tantric anatomy is specifically working with the nadis, or astral pathways, specifically the sushumna...also deals with countless other nadis, especially the Ida and Pingala, which cross on either side of the sushumna, crossing at the chakras. The chakras are also a strong study specific to Tantra Yoga, and the means of awakening, cleansing, connecting, and developing them are a large part of the practice... having sex tantrically allows these pathways and the chakras along them to be transformed and the energy moved upwards rather than outwards, and circulated, rather than lost. This fosters cosmic consciousness, being a tool of the Divine, experiencing communion with the Divine and feeling the oneness with bliss. 

There is a very unfortunate trend recently for women to call themselves Tantric Goddesses who are in fact simply giving sensual massage, perhaps wearing a sarong or bindhi on the forehead and playing Indian ragas, if they even go that far towards trying to appear authentic. It has become for many people a way to go to in for a sensual massage and be able to claim it is a spiritual practice, especially for guilty married men. One way to tell if that is the case is if the Tantric Goddess encourages ejaculation or not. Tantric sex does not generally include ejaculation except in very rare advanced practices to be done on certain astrological moments for specific magical purposes perhaps once or twice in a lifetime. When a man ejaculates, his energy is then gone, and that is completely against the teachings of Tantra Yoga. The energy is to be generated, cultivated, circulated, milked, blessed, expanded, and raised up through the body, often above the head, and sometimes then circulated downwards afterwards, sometimes through the body of the partner, and sometimes circulated often through the two of them, but ending up at the crown of the head for the man during orgasm.  

A good Tantra teacher should at the very least be very familiar with all aspects of the subtle anatomy, and should preferably be able to sense the movements of the energy within the body of the student simply by looking or feeling or even listening to the subtle sounds emanated from him. The teacher should be able to tell what is best for the student according to what is going on with the subtle anatomy, where to begin, what direction to go in, what to avoid, how long to keep working on each aspect, how to relate to the student and what to suggest for the other relationships the student may be involved in. The teacher should not simply go by the book and teach the exact same thing to each student, though a general guideline of course may be followed. She should be able to tell what is happening as the studies progress, moment by moment, and it is best if she can sense the whole aura of the student, all the way out to the very largest levels of the being. Teaching Tantra is a sacred act, perhaps the most important undertaking in the life of the student, and the student as a whole should be seen, the eternal, non local, wise self who is sitting before the teacher. The student should be related to as that being as well as all the concentrically smaller levels of the self embodied in the auric bodies.

If the teacher is relating to you as a simple personality, and the physical body before her, thinking more of money, and whether she is attractive, or only about teaching how to be a better lover, this may not be truly a Tantra teacher at all. Tantric sex involves curling the tongue backwards, clenching the pelvis and hands, turning the eyes upwards, lifting the perineum, and other ways to move the energies upwards along the sushumna.

If the teacher includes sexuality in the Tantric lessons, orgasms are encouraged, but only if the man can maintain his seed, or if he is working on the process of mastering Tantric orgasm. Sometimes a man will not succeed, and the Tantra teacher should not be judgemental at that sensitive moment, but should be accepting, help him enjoy it, and be encouraging that the next time it may well work for him to retain it and she can suggest ways to improve his skill. She needs to be very tuned into the man to be able to help him reach an orgasm without ejaculation, and if you feel the teacher did not help you correctly to do that, that it was truly her rather than hers that you ejaculated if you did so, then give her another chance, but if it happens again, it may be time to move on. It may take several tries for some men, because of conditioning, age, and so on, so the Tantra teacher may be doing the best she can, but if you find that she is not trying hard enough to help you with this, she may be concerned more with getting the session over with quickly than with teaching you that invaluable skill. 

If you are learning ejaculation control, you should be in a meditative state, visualizing for example, the Shakti, or goddess, the individual self, the physical focus of the first chakra, moving upwards to join with Shiva, the god, Absolute Consciousness, at the portal of the crown chakra, the universal self, the higher self which opens out into the infinite. You should not be visualizing traditional lustful sexual fantasies or thinking of your Tantra teacher as an ordinary sexy woman, as she is a tool of the Divine helping you be one with the light. She is one with the light. She should be able to disappear as a personality, and let your own dance with the Divine take precedence. If she is acting in ways that encourage ordinary sexual responses of a baser kind, and also teaching Tantric methods, she is endangering you. Tantra is very powerful and can open up the chakras and raise the Kundalini, and if that happens when a person is focused on base lust, the Kundalini snake of energy can turn downward and lead to psychotic breaks. She should be helping you keep focused on going beyond separation into love and beingness, the pulsations of light, the outer levels of yourself, the union of all levels. 

There is far, far more to learning Tantra than ejaculation control, even in the context of meditaion and energy circulation and conscious loving. She can show you ways to relate to your partner in higher states, and to relate to yourself and the world around you in more ecstatic, productive ways that allow everything to shine. Tantra involves mantras, or toning of the Sanskrit sounds that produce specific effects on the body and consciousness. It also involves yantras, or sacred diagrams of the dynamics of energy and consciousness, images of the deities, and mandalas. It involves proper diet and healthy behaviours and various modalities of healing including herbal supplements, and amaroli, or the drinking of urine. It involves pranayama, breathwork, perhaps the most important part of Tantra, and asanas, or yogic positions and movements, and an in depth philosophy. Meditation, it goes without saying, is a basic part of Tantra. If she is not teaching you these things, she is probably not  teaching you Tantra, though some forms are more focused on devotion and selfless service. She should be well trained in these things, generally from master teachers rather than simply from books, as the exercises are very specific, and if done even slightly incorrectly, can be ineffective, or problematic, and she needs to understand what each student is ready for and in need of at the moment. 

She needs to be ready to deal with problems that can come up such as releasing and protecting from demons as you clear your field and remove negative habit patterns. She needs to know what to do if your Kundalini rises, and be able to be there for you during the whole process or find someone who can. She needs to know what to do if your Kundalini rises incorrectly, and you will not find a Tantric Goddess who is just doing sensual massage without Tantric training, years and years of internal focus and an pure lifestyle, devotion to service of the Evolution of Souls, able to handle such difficulties. Normally, a very young teacher should be questioned on these things it is rare for these qualities to be acquired that quickly without plenty of life experience to hone the understandings. 

A Tantra teacher should be understanding and warm, not confuse Tantric sex with S/M, be available to you for questions, should be respectful of you and demand respect from you, should protect herself and the other students as well as you. Some Tantra teachers will go so far as to have intercourse or oral sex with students, and perhaps they have some way of avoiding STDS. Personally, I would advise against going to someone who does that, as STDS are so easily transferable whether a condom is used or not. Not only STDS are a concern, but candida, parasites, and various other types of diseases, such as the types of herpes not tested for regularly, mycoplasmas, funguses, and so forth, and even kissing opens one up to many things, and a teacher sees a lot of students. So a teacher who can provide the teachings, even if they are sexual, without having body to body contact in the whole danger zone of the pelvis is someone you can trust not only with your health, but you know she is trustworthy and responsible in general. A Tantra teacher should certainly be aware of the energetic connections formed by sex, and realize that not only physical contagion is possible, but all sort of entangling. 

She should also disentangle at the end of the session, and this is true even for workshops, letting her energies go back into her, and yours into you, removing any energetic contagion, cutting any cords that were formed, but remaining available for messages on the psychic planes if she is needed because of changes in your Kundalini. If she fails to disentangle, you could be receiving each others energetic problems at any times subconsciously, or draining each other subconsciously because of the bond that is formed. 

She should have respect for the body and the environment, and use natural ingredients in the incense and massage oil, non paraffin candles, or her own scents. Her looks may not be as important as some people think, and one of the best Tantra teachers I have ever known is not conventionally attractive, nor even fit, but no one seems to have a problem with that. In some ways, getting past the appearance is a positive thing. It is more important for her to have experience with various personality types and sexual and spiritual issues, and make each man feel comfortable and open immediately, be non judgemental, be able to lead visualization and take you into deep states of consciousness with exercises she leads you in, her voice, her breathing rate, her touch, and her spirit. She should be able to find the answers within her repertoire or from the Divine Wisdom, intuition from within. She could ideally be able to send energy to you, and should certainly be able to circulate energy between the two of you if she feels it is safe, and to move energy upwards along with you to the crown. She should leave you feeling euphoric, transformed, with a new sense of freedom and clarity, focus and insights, abilities, and love of All.

2. Catholicism and Women by Shivoham "Give me a child until he is seven and we have him for life", used to be the rather chilling claim of the Jesuits, essentially recognising, as any therapist would, the formative nature of the early years. If you were brought up as a Catholic then I suggest you think back to your earliest memories of church or priests or nuns; if possible to when you were five or six years old. The memory might have the smell of incense, hymns, learning the catechism, or images from posters or stained glass windows or of candles. It may also include stories from the Bible, or the life of saints and people you encountered connected with the Church. Amongst the most powerful are the smells of incense and the images as well as the people you remember. These things go in more deeply to the mind than words. To a small child, many of the words make little sense; but the images and some of the stories told go in deeply. As a girl, what images of women do you recall?  You may recall your mother in Church. How was she; humble, devote, bored, deferential, celebratory? Another image that will almost certainly come to you is of the Virgin Mary. She was probably rather pale, holding Jesus, and a symbol of purity, patience and motherhood. There may have been pictures or stories of female saints, St. Theresa, Joan of Arc, and there will have been your perception of the women who supported the church, helped the priest; arranged the flowers. It is from these images, these people and these stories that you will have got a sense of what it means to be a woman in a woman's body and most of this will have been absorbed quite unconsciously by the age of six. In particular you will have absorbed from the real women you met; how they were in their body. If they moved and breathed and lived from the passion in their belly and yoni or were they stiff, dried out and perhaps resigned. In Catholicism it is very easy to get the message that women are best as virgins or martyrs or at least Bride's of Christ, or failing that their job is to invisibly support the male priests who is God's true representative and on Earth. He also reminds you that God is obviously a man. By example and by omission you have a sense - often from what is not said; that purity, service, humility and martyrdom or at least motherhood is your highest calling. Of course this isn't the essential message of Christianity - a religion based on love but without any clear prescription of how to make love or transmute the energy of love within the body. It is also a religion which rapidly got taken over by a male dominated hierarchy which was adopted by the expansionist, military Roman State. There have always been the mystics; men and women who were different and some of the passion and the feminine crept in, for example to the Songs of Solomon and in the inspiring music and the paintings of Hildegard of Bingen. I am sure that this yearning for the feminine in Christianity is behind the huge popularity of the fictional Da Vinci Code book.  Unlike Mediterranean countries, Catholicism in UK and Ireland seems to have been dominated by sin, guilt, shame and fear and, particularly in Ireland, by far too many people who had severe problems with their sexuality and relationships resulting in abuse, paedophilia and some very sadistic behaviour towards children. In Spain or Italy, Catholicism seem to have been able to acquire a much more celebratory, sensuous aliveness at least in some areas. The message usually goes in deeply and early that as a girl, you will become a woman and then best role is as virgin, martyr, or a behind-the-scenes servant of men. God, the Pope and the priest as His representatives are supreme and are all male. And possibly somewhere as a subtext, you get the sense that being a woman is something shameful; to do with sexuality, unclean things and the power to corrupt and lead astray.  At adolescence with the blossoming of sexuality, these messages are usually reinforced at a conscious level leading either to more sense of shame and guilt or to a rebellion and loss of belief. However the unconscious messages remain after the conscious mind has arrived at different beliefs. The escapes can often be in to promiscuous rebellion or in to anorexia; a secular version of fasting to death and the denial of adult sexuality. Occasionally it leads to an obsession with “Dark Eros” and the forbidden in sex. The traces all this leave in the adult woman are guilt, shame and fear in various mixtures  locked in the body and the mind. Guilt is about what we have done and the Catholic Church creates guilt from its prohibitions and also provides a remedy in confession and absolution. If you leave the Church you are left with the guilt without the relief. This guilt can become unconscious. Shame however is deeper; it is not about what you have done but about who you are. It is often connected with our bodies as the visible embodiment of who us. Sexuality, and for women menstruation, tie you even more in to the body and therefore closer to "sins of the flesh" and desire. No wonder that so much religious fervour is directed at the body, through chastisement and towards women as literally embodying the flesh, desire, sexuality and temptation for the priests and the pious. As shame is about who you are not what you have done; there is no escape. The ways in which shame and guilt can be held in the body are through muscular tensions and disconnections. In terms of tension the inner thigh muscles can hold the legs closed, the lower back muscles can retract the pelvis and hold it immobile preventing the natural movement of the pelvis. General tension in the area of the diaphragm can reduce the breathing, damping down energy and cutting it off from exciting the lower belly and the genitals. The muscles in the chest area can cause the shoulders to round forward hiding the breasts. The experience of shame in particular leads to a wish to hide and therefore a contraction of the body as if trying to occupy a smaller space. Hiding means avoiding eye contact by looking down and also by not being present in the eyes; blocking real contact and seeing ourselves being seen. Tension in the diaphragm is also likely to block the voice as a powerful force, sometimes resulting in a voice that can barely go above a whisper. In disconnection which is rarer, there is dissociation from the body as if the person is not really present. Instead of being tense and contracted the body can be open but rather lifeless and the joints too loose. This may happen more in women where they rebel against the restrictions by for example becoming promiscuous in adolescence and the although physically feeling free energetically abandon their body perhaps from shame and dissociate. They may then also have experiences for which they were not prepared and which can further traumatise. It is possible to revision Christianity as a celebration of life, love and incarnation. Such creation centred spirituality (such as developed by Matthew Fox and others) can provide a positive experience, but therapy and forms of healing which include the body are important to remove the imprints of the past. Putting the body and pleasure as central and not colluding with shame which hides are essential and tantric healing massage is the most direct way for those who have the courage to heal.

3. Female Ejaculation by Shivoham

Women can ejaculate or squirt large amounts of clear liquid when aroused. Amazingly, this seems to be new information for many women, many doctors and even gynaecologists! It is not urine or lubricant and is the female equivalent of the fluid from the prostate that men mix with sperm and ejaculate.

There are references to the female ejaculation of fluid with orgasm as early as Aristotle in ancient Greece. In the East the ancient tantric practitioners called it amrita. The Kama Sutra mentions it clearly and Shakespeare called it "the water of my love." It wasn't until about 400 years ago that a Dutch anatomist, Regnier De Graaf, clearly defined the glands and ducts and said they were analogous to the male prostate. This started a scientific trend of referring to the G-Spot as the female prostate. In 1880 Alexander Skene, extensively studied and illustrated the glands and ducts. It is based in the same structure known as the G-spot after Granfenberg who wrote about it in 1950 as a "new" orgasmic trigger!

The release can be anything from a few drops that are easily missed; to gushing of half a litre or more of liquid. The reservoir it comes from holds typically about 150 ml but it can replenish quickly.

As women’s genitals are mostly hidden, many women know little in detail. For example the visible clitoris under its hood is the tip of a large structure which goes deep into the body with two branches around either side of the vagina. The whole structure has as much erectile tissue which can become engorged with blood as a man – it is just internal. The clitoris has as many as 6,000 nerve endings and as far as we know, is the only organ in the whole of nature whose only purpose is pleasure!

In the past some women feared that they had wet themselves with urine and may have felt ashamed. It is now time to reclaim this as a wonderful affirmation of female sexuality. The squirting can happened with a large orgasm but it is not necessarily part of an orgasm and can just feel like a relief. As its release is almost always connected to stimulation of the G-spot the orgasm can be slow, deep and moving to encompass the whole body. In contrast clitoral orgasms are usually shorter and more genitally focussed.

The “blessing” of a shower of amrita in lovemaking should be experienced as a great honour. In some tantric rituals this can be collected and consumed. It affirms the woman’s deep connection to her sexuality and the blessing of her body and her lover.  Not ejaculating should never be seen as a sign of inadequacy, but of the possibility of further discoveries in the lifelong journey to the Source and the Soul which is both deep inside and beyond us.

Probably every woman can learn to ejaculate. It usually needs stimulation of the female prostate area for quite a long time in the first instance but it comes easier in time. For some women quite a lot of pressure is needed and the assistance of bearing down to initially release the flow. The first time this is done can be quite frightening; bringing up fear of loss of control and soiling. It is best with a partner whom you can trust very deeply to be present and make the space safe and clear. They need to strongly encourage you if fears arise.

4: Extended sexual pleasure

for more see www.tantrra.uk.com

An excerpt from Tantric Sex - Making love last by Cassandra Lorius published in the UK in 1999 by Thorsons. Reproduced with permission

Karen, 43: " Because my partner was able to make love for a long time without coming, we were able to reach extraordinary states of arousal. We had bursts of vigorous screwing, feeling very excited, but beyond the point of wanting have an orgasm. My whole body felt alive and tingling spreading out from my belly. We’d stop and lie together, with him still inside me, looking at each other. I felt a deep sense of peace and of love. It was very joyful, and blissful,whether we were screwing, or lying exhausted together. Neither of us wanted to break it. I was having little orgasms throughout our love-making, and eventually after hours, he’d have an orgasm, and we would get some rest,feeling fully satisfied in a way I’d never felt before.

I felt as if I’d really been met for the first time, that we’d really connected in this prolonged state of arousal without end.

Now I feel I’m more sensitive, and I can’t take that sort of intense friction of vigorous sex anymore. I understand more about the softness of opening out to him, and of slowness and sensuality. I feel deeply relaxed in my body now, and in touch with my own sensitivity."

Women’s sexual experience is often divided into five levels of orgasmic experience. From pre-orgasmic, sporadically orgasmic, orgasmic and multiply orgasmic. The fifth level is called extended sexual pleasure, in which the orgasmic response is lengthened in order to prolong sexual pleasure. The following exercise aims to teach techniques for doing this, which can prepare you for the sixth stage, which Tantric practitioners call "the wave of bliss". The wave of bliss involves expanding extended sexual pleasure into an altered state of consciousness, using the breathing and visualization techniques we’ve been exploring throughout the book.

Tantric writings describe Shakti as achieving seven peaks of ecstasy, each peak higher, stronger. and more powerful than the preceding, until at the topmost she releases her nectar or amrita (female ejaculation).

Men’s sexual experience is usually divided into the stages of ;arousal, build up to orgasm, orgasm and ejaculation.

Among advanced Tantric practitioners, these stages are separated. During extended sexual pleasuring men learn to peak and plateau again without going into orgasm. They then learn to orgasm without ejaculation, moving the subtle energies of sexual arousal away from the genitals and up through the inner flute. By moving energy away from the genitals, ejaculation may even disappear, but the body is capable of experiencing a whole body orgasm, in which erotic pleasure and the waves of energy produced in orgasm are diffused throughout the body.

Once you’ve gained the ability to orgasm without ejaculation, you can choose whether and when you’d like to ejaculate. Ejaculation no longer signals the end of love-making, but is just one of the many delightful experiences that are part of sacred sex.

Once you have learnt the basic method for extended sexual pleasure, both women and men can try adding in these Tantric elements:

* Connect with heart chakra of your partner, through your breath and visualization.
* While being pleasured, focus on your breathing; remain still, breathing slowly and deeply.
* Focus on drawing your energy up the inner flute (central energy channel) into your heart chakra.
* Visualizing energy moving into your higher chakras: Extend your sexual pleasure by drawing up the pleasure associated with the base chakra into the heart, where it manifests as joy. From there the sexual energy can be drawn into the crown chakra, where it manifests as bliss.
* Try this meditation: As orgasm starts breathe in deeply and slowly, and as you breathe out make as much noise as you can — or sing. According to Tantra teachers, Charles and Caroline Muir, the volume of your sound influences the volume of your orgasm. They say your orgasm will last as long as you keep vocalizing your breath —as many as several long breaths. As well as that, vocalizing opens your throat chakra, helping pull energy up your inner flute. You can imagine pulling the golden sexual energy up with your breath, into your heart, your throat, or your brow centres. Once you have managed to visualize your breath coming up through these successive charkas, you can visualize this golden light streaming all the way up to your crown, and uniting with the energy of your partner. Hold the vision of yourselves as radiant beings surrounded in a rainbow of light, linked to the divine.
* Love muscle squeeze. Experiment with these — men can clench the love muscle if they don’t wish to tip into ejaculation. Both men and women can use it to increase the erotic charge in the pelvis.